Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Baby Number 2?


It’s been an eventful couple of years. Last year I got married, the beginning of this year I had my first child, and a couple months ago I found out I would be having another child in June (all with the same woman). We are unsure the sex, but the preliminary blood results say there’s a 1% chance it’s a boy. That number may seem low, but low probabilities hit all the time, so it’s anyone’s best guess as to the sex.











Thursday, November 19, 2015

Turkey of the Year

I had planned to put this out for thanksgiving but Bobby didn't respect my schedule and dropped out early. So happy early Thanksgiving and to all a good night.

And please do not go to Black Friday, your time is worth more than that.

Bobby Jindal became the first Indian American elected governor in the US and is arguably the worst governor in the country. However, this is not the reason he is getting this dubious award.


The constitution provides citizenship to anyone born in the United States. Bobby Jindal, much like most republican presidential candidates, wants to crap on the constitution and start deporting AMERICAN Citizens. Basically, under this policy, if your parent(s) wasn’t a citizen then you are not a citizen unless you you went through the naturalization process to become a citizen.

Bobby Jindal is the son of immigrants from India. He was born in the United States 4 months after his parents had immigrated and neither were citizens. He changed his first name from "Piyush" to "Bobby", after the youngest brother of the Brady Bunch.

Here’s the best part:






Thursday, November 5, 2015

How to spot a Tourist Trap

Just got back from France (see below) and ended up eating at two tourist traps. Even though I know better I still managed to get sucked in every now and then.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make while travelling is getting stuck eating at a tourist trap, especially in countries that are known for great food (if you’re in the UK go ahead and eat anywhere you want). So here’s a few rules that will help you avoid eating unauthentic overpriced previously frozen food.











Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Bernie Who?

Also invented the Flux Capacitor 
Tonight the national media will be forced to cover a candidate that scares the hell out of them. This candidate draws substantially larger crowds and has raised 10-100x the amount of money from small donations as the presidential "front-runners".











Thursday, September 10, 2015

NFL Opening Night!!!

Great match-up for opening night. Brady gets his punishment lifted for cheating in last years NFC championship game. Then an expose comes out about how much the Pats cheated from 2000-2007, evidence was destroyed, and the punishment was light considering they won 3 championships on the back of the cheating.

On the other side of the ball Big Ben has two legitimate championships under his belt, as well as two legitimate sexual assault allegations. *














Thursday, August 13, 2015

Avocado Math: Best Size Avocado to Buy?


Every time I buy avocados it's impossible to figure out what size avocado presents the best value.
$.99 for a small
$1.19 medium
$1.39 Large
$1.69 X-Large

If I have this problem so do you. Today's the day I solve it:















Wednesday, August 12, 2015

America's a Great Place to Have a Child

Out of 185 Countries there are 3 that don't guarantee paid maternity leave. They are Oman, Papua New Guinea, and the greatest country on earth the United States.
For comparison, here's a few other countries and the number of weeks they guarantee paid maternity leave:


Iran 12 weeks





Thursday, August 6, 2015

Fare Thee Well Jon Stewart

Today is a sad day. After 16 years John Stewart is stepping down from the Daily Show. It is pretty amazing that he was able to turn a political satire show into a more informative and factual news organization than any of the major networks. Which is the reason that the percent of college graduate Daily Show viewers is double that of Fox News.











Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Kim Kardashian Live Show


Kim Kardashian will be speaking tonight at the Castro Theatre in SF. Tickets are $50 for the cheap seats. This sums up everything that is wrong with America. If you have contributed to this by: watching her show, reading about her, buying any of her products or products she endorses, then you will be partially culpable 
should America collapse.

However, if you only watched her sex tape, you are a patriot and I pardon you.







Best Gay Marriage Quote

There’s been a lot of outrage by the Republican Party about the Supreme Court’s ruling on gay marriage. Most of the stupid comments have been questioning the Supreme Court’s right to make these kinds of judgments. Stupid, I know.

However, there is one person that takes the cake. In an interview with KJRH news, Jim Inhofe was asked about his thoughts on the Supreme Court’s ruling on gay marriage.

“I know a lot of people, actually a lot of people who are friends of mine in the gay community, who also think it was a bad decision.” 

Yes, he did say that he has gay friends and that they are against the ruling.








Thursday, June 18, 2015

Donald Trump for President


UPDATE 5-18:
Donald Trump has broken the record for most Republican Primary votes Ever, there are still many more votes to come. There is No divide in the Republican Party. The Donald represents and is supported by the Republican party as much, if not more, than any Republican candidate in history. Ever since he came down the escalator and called Mexican’s rapists, he has been their leader. Do not believe the propaganda from the media or your uninformed Facebook friends. 

If you think he can’t win, you are wrong. Unfortunately, the likely competitor has the dubious honor of being the most unfavorable Democratic candidate in history and is also under federal investigation (unlike Benghazi this is something to worry about). Knowing this election will be decided by independents (42% of registered voters) and the Bernie dominates with independents, the establishment has chosen to the roll the dice with our future. Trump is already tied with Hillary in a lot of the polls. Vegas has Trump at about 30% chance of becoming President. Sweet Dreams……







Thursday, April 30, 2015

Police Brutality




Here's some fun police brutality statistics. Some of these police misconduct settlement stats do not include the tens of millions paid in legal fees. This is just a handful of many cities that have paid out a ton of tax payer money.


Baltimore $11.5 million last 4 years, the reason this number is so “low” is because there is a $200,000 statutory limit in Maryland for most lawsuits against a municipality

Philadelphia paid more than $40 million last 5 years

LA $54 million last 4 years, includes negligence and other claims

New York City $428 million last 5 years, $732 million in legal costs mostly from claims of police abuse, negligence and hiring discrimination in just ONE year from June 2013-June 2014  

Chicago $521 million last 10 years







Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Teachers Banging Students

Pennsylvania high school teacher Erica Ginnetti was sentenced to 30 days in jail for banging her 17 year old high school student. Many have said the sentence was too lenient. While I do think teachers shouldn't be banging there student, I do not think we should be locking people up for victimless crimes.
When a male teacher is going to town on a female student the sentiment towards the female is different and therefore she is a victim. This is a double standard but that's just the way the world works. When the male student is banging his hot teacher the only victim is his elbow from getting so many high fives.

The best part of the story is the judge who said, " What young man would not jump on that candy". 


Video of the teacher dancing at a high school performance. It's pretty funny how inappropriate it is.







Thursday, April 9, 2015

Walking Dead Season Finally
















Since season two of The Walking Dead something has rubbed me the wrong way but I couldn't put my finger on it. After watching the season finale it finally hit me....  All the characters suck! When one of the "main" characters die, I could care less. Remember last seasons shocking season finally when Beth was killed because she decided to risk everyone's lives in the hallway by poking that lady with those kid scissors. Do we miss her character? (Wasn't it was kinda pervy how Rick left his son and infant daughter to rescue a young blonde?)

None of the characters are the slightest bit interesting or charismatic. Every time someone is killed my first thought is, "eh, he/she was kinda annoying anyway."





Friday, January 30, 2015

Super Bowl Preview XLIX

Before I get to the Super Bowl breakdown I would like to share the best NFL Films clip and one of the best clips of all time. It is about Deacon Jones, a former NFL defensive lineman, who was famous for using a head slap to move the blocker out of the way. Listen carefully.








Thursday, January 29, 2015

My First New Baby

Baby made it home just in time for the best sporting day of the
year. NFL Championship weekend. I wasn't even going to let
the cheating Patriots bring me down that day.
I want to congratulate myself and my wife for successfully, like most of your parents, ushering a new life into this world. The labor was more laborious than I had planned, I had to hold a leg for over 3 hours, but with a sprinkle of grit and a dash of moxie we both got through it well.

I had been in a delivery room back in high school, and that baby was out before I finished my pack of peanut M&M’s. So I assumed it would be a fairly simple process, kinda like squeezing a hot dog out of its casing.  I have since learned that not all labors are the same.











Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Underrated: Idiots Guide to Tony Romo

Tony Romo is the most scrutinized QB in NFL history. Love him or hate him everyone has an opinion. The problem is though, those that hate him are usually the loudest and dumbest people in the room.

The consensus on Romo was formed much like most of the nation’s political views; idiot pundits perpetually shouting out erroneous statements. Most people are too dumb to think for themselves so they usually just go along with what they believe is the consensus.
The only real negative arguments about Romo are anecdotal stories about a game where he threw an interception. For every story about how Romo choked there’s 5 stories about how he was clutch but people just focus on his failures.*



Anecdotal arguments are for the mental midgets. So let’s take a more tangible approach.

Quick Quiz: answer at the bottom **
Romo's last 5 complete seasons. Are they in order? Is he magically better this season?
Yards TD-INT
1, 3800     31-10
2. 3700     34-9
3. 4900     28-19
4. 4500     26-9
5. 4200     31-10


Quarterback Passer Rating (PR) isn’t a perfect rating system but it is the single most accurate statistic we have to judge a QB’s performance. (While I concede that stats don’t tell the whole story, they tell MUCH more of a story than No Stats). So let’s start here.
Career Passer Rating leaders.

1.
106.0
 2005-2014 
gnb
2.
Tony Romo (35)
97.6
 2004-2014 
dal
3.
97.5
 1998-2014 
2TM
4.
96.8
 1985-1999 
2TM
5.
Tom Brady (38)
95.9
 2000-2014 
nwe
6.
95.7
 2004-2014 
sdg
7.
Drew Brees (36)
95.4
 2001-2014 
2TM
8.
93.9
 2004-2014 
pit
9.
93.7
 1998-2009 
3TM
10.
92.3
 1979-1994 
2TM


As you can see. PR does a pretty good job at rating QB's.

"So what. Romo is a "talented" QB. He just sucks in crunch time."
- Romo Hater

Facts about the fourth quarter:
(Even though Romo has been great this season, none of the 4th quarter and end of game data below includes this season. I do NOT want this to lead to the stupid argument that Romo is somehow magically better this season.**)

Since 2007:
Top 5 passer rating in 4th quarter (Minimum of 100 attempts) –
Aaron Rodgers 103.7
Tony Romo 103.2
Peyton Manning 101.9
Tom Brady 97.6
Shaun Hill 93.0

Top 5 passer rating with 5 minutes remaining (Minimum of 100 attempts) -
Aaron Rodgers 102.5
Peyton Manning 99.1
Tony Romo 92.3
Andrew Luck 90.0
Matt Cassel 89.4
Brady and Brees not on the list

Top three 4th quarter PR since 1991

                                 TD-INT
1.Rodgers    103.4        55-19
2.Romo        102.9       73-29
3.Young       97.7           9-4 (small sample size)
  
   Brady        91.7         96-41 (NOT 4th on this list. Just for comparisons sake) 

"Romo only has good stats in the 4th quarter because he puts up great numbers in garbage time. I’ve watched a ton of close games where he blew it. He chokes when the game is on the line!"
-Romo Hater

Since 2006, most 4th-quarter comeback drives:
Tony Romo: 21
Peyton Manning: 20
Eli Manning: 19
Jay Cutler: 17
Matt Ryan: 17

Most TD passes in one-score games in the 4th-quarter since 2011
Quarterback                       TD passes            Comp.%               Rating
1. Tony Romo                    20                           64.3                        99.5
2. Tom Brady                      16                           60.2                        90.2 
(comparative inaccuracy and INT’s brings Brady’s rating down)
3. Eli Manning                    15                           57.6                        89.2
4. Matthew Stafford            15                           54.6                        81.4
5. Aaron Rodgers                12                           66.3                        116.9
 (obviously Rodgers is the best QB now and probably ever)




"If Romo is so good how come the Cowboys never win anything?"
- Romo Hater




The tail of two QB’s:
Romo became a starter in 2007 and was given a marginal coaching staff (after Parcells skipped town). A top 15 rushing attack only twice. Highest ranking was 7th. A top 10 defense ONCE.

In that same time span Brady was given the best coach in NFL history and consistently a top rushing attack and defense. In the last eight years the Pats rushing attack finished top 15 seven times and top 10 four times. In the same eight years they were a top 10 defense seven times and top 5 three times (I’m not even counting the defenses and running attacks that brought the Pats multiple Super Bowls).


Moral of the story?
Romo has been a better QB than Brady by every metric (even the eye to be honest), except for anecdotal of course. But football is a team game. You give an equal QB a better running game, defense and the best coach you will see results. In Brady's case the only results were epic chokes and a few impressive regular season wins, well at least since the Brittney Spears and Kevin Federlines reality show, 

Romo will probably lose one of the next two road playoff games. And of course the non-thinking masses will blame him whether he has a good game or not.

Rushing
2006
2007
2008
2009
2010
2011
2012
2013
Cowboys
13
17
21
7
16
18
31
24
Pats
12
13
6
12
9
20
7
9



Defense
2006
2007
2008
2009
2010
2011
2012
2013
Cowboys
20
13
20
2
31
16
24
26
Pats
2
4
8
5
8
15
9
10



Couple more fun stats:

Romo vs Brady in close games and blowouts:


Final Margin of Victory Between
      0-7 Points
      15+ Points

    TD-INT-PR
    TD-INT-PR
Tom Brady
    129-74-88.0
    194-35-111
Tony Romo
     113-60-93.8
     73-28-100.9


Romo's stats are a little better in a blowout but so is every QB's. However, check out how much of Brady's stats come in blowouts. He has More than DOUBLE the interceptions, 65 Less TD's and 23 point lower passer rating in close games. He piles on stats once the game is meaningless. Why is Romo the one accused of not being clutch when Brady is tremendously worse in close games? Oh yeah, people are stupid.
Career Passer Rating in December
Rodgers 103.2
Manning 99.4
Brees 94.9
Romo 94.1
Brady 92.5

Please share. And if you liked this you will probably like my blog on Tom Brady.
http://bayaniflores.blogspot.com/2011/11/overrated-tom-brady-and-giselle.html




















*why not tell more of the good anecdotal stories like Romo’s heroic performance versus the Redskins last year. Rallying from a 9 point deficit late in the 4th quarter with a herniated disc that would require surgery a couple days later. After 3 unsuccessful runs at the goal line Romo put the team on his back to complete a 4th and goal at the 11. Reminded me a lot like when he rallied back on the road versus the Niners a couple years ago with a broken rib and a punctured lung.

**It doesn't matter. He's obviously been the same great player for many years. So look up the answer yourself..

Stats taken from http://www.pro-football-reference.com/










Sunday, January 4, 2015

Birthdays

Everyone knows that today is my Birthday and as I inch closer to death every year, I know there will be a day when I look in the mirror and wonder what happened to that young dashing, handsome, charismatic man. Today is not that day. I still got it!
In honor of myself I shall share my thoughts on birthdays......

Birthdays are a weird thing to celebrate. Usually you celebrate an accomplishment. Like the anniversary of starting a business, a wedding*, or a college graduation. Celebrating being born is the ultimate unaccomplishment. It is the ONE thing that everyone single person on this planet has done successfully.

But, since it is our culture to celebrate ourselves every year for not dying, why do we celebrate less as we get older? Birthdays become scarcer with each passing year. We should be celebrating harder each year. So for every special person having a birthday in 2015, time to start planning the party!

And Happy Birthday to Me!








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