Thursday, January 31, 2013

Super Bowl XLVII Preview, My Version

Welcome to my first annual Super Bowl Preview Extravaganza!

The 49ers are making their first return to the Super Bowl in almost 20 years. That might seem like a long time to you youngsters, but that's nothing for those of us that were around when the Niners first joined the NFL, ironically in 1949. That is, until an up and coming coach named Bill Walsh was joined by a young QB from Notre Dame. The rest is history.

Do we have another Dynasty in the making? I am certain we have the coach and somewhat confident we have the QB. Well, as confident as one can be in a player with only 10 career starts. Who knows, maybe 10 years from now when Kaepernick is hoisting his 4th Lombardi Trophy I’ll be telling my grand kids there were idiots in 2012 saying he shouldn't be starting.

Why the Ravens won't stop the Pistol:

While Kaepernick has only had 10 starts in the NFL he had over 3500 snaps in college, all from the pistol formation. He is the best pistol Quarterback ever. And that's not hyperbole.
Baltimore has been studying the pistol for 2 weeks. Kaepernick has been studying it for 6 years. He will continue to shred defenses by making the correct pre-snap reads and Baltimore will have no answer. The slow starts and explosive last three quarters of late are evidence that he is making perfect game time adjustments to whatever the defense is throwing at him.

In case you forgot:

This will be Ray Lewis's last dance. While everyone is swept up in this emotional run to end his career, let's not forget the year before he won the Super Bowl he was charged with murder.

Lewis and his two friends were indicted on murder and aggravated-assault charges in the stabbing deaths of two other people. The white, allegedly blood stained, suit he was wearing was never found.

Lewis’ lawyers negotiated a plea deal in exchange for testifying against his friends and pleading guilty to a misdemeanor charge of obstruction of justice. I guess being a Rat doesn't have the same stigma it did back in the day.

Random Fact:

Ray Lews first career sack was versus Jim Harbaugh

If I had one wish:

It would be to see Roger Goodell ride around New Orleans on a float. There would have to be more security for this event than when Obama travels through middle America. Unfortunately, he will be hiding in an armored car with bulletproof windows until kickoff. 

3 stories from Media Week no one could have guessed.....

1. Ray Lewis denies using deer velvet antler spray.

2. Randy Moss says he's unhappy with his role on the 49ers and "he's the greatest receiver ever" (I'll give him greatest at playing the ball in the air ever and greatest at choosing the perfect time to say he's unhappy with his role on the team ever).
What a stupid time to say a dumb thing. But just when you thought a player couldn't say anything dumber right before the Super Bowl, 49ers Cornerback Chris Culliver jumps in with this haymaker.

3. Culliver was asked on radio if any members of the 49ers were homosexual. 

Culliver’s response: “I don’t do the gay guys man, I don’t do that. Nah, we ain't got no gay people on the team. They gotta get up outta here if they do. Can’t be with that sweet stuff. Nah, can’t be in the locker room.”
The question was prompted by the news that 49ers 2003 first rounder Kwame Harris was arrested for beating his boyfriend (btw, he went to Standfurd). If only he showed the same amount of passion on the football field as he did in the bedroom he might not have been a  bust.  

Prop Bet Lock:

The Alicia Keys Over/Under for the National Anthem is at 2 minutes and 15 seconds.

Kelly Klarkson went 1:34 and Christina Aguilera went 1:53 while skipping a line.

There has only been one national anthem in the history of the Super Bowl to go longer than 2:15

Personally, I wouldn't mind watching Alicia sing a 10 minute national anthem. Actually, there isn't anything she could be doing where I wouldn't watch. But I digress. She's going under. Lock It!

4 Reasons why you shouldn't feel bad for Alex Smith?

1. 7 years in the NFL. 81 TD’s and 92 Turnovers.

2. 77 playoff games were played during that time frame. Smith has been lauded for one win. When a team gets assisted by   turnovers they win about 99% of the time. Just the mere fact that the game was close was a testament to Smith's abilities.

3. He has earned over $50 Million, of YOUR money, for one playoff victory. If it wasn't for Barry Zito we’d be talking worst investing in San Francisco history.

That’s almost as bad a return on investment as
NRA’s political victory fund campaign who had a .83% ROI on over 11 million spent last year
And Karl Roves American Crossroads who got a 1.29% ROI on over 100 million spent last year

4. During the off-season he will be chilling in his mansion, getting Thai massages, banging his hot wife and wiping his butt with 100 dollar bills. Do you think he feels bad for those of us who lay brick 10 hours a day to make ends meet?

More on Kaepernick:

Colin Kaepernick threw 92mph and two no hitters senior year and got a partially scholarship to Notre Dame

This last part is for Cal fans:

Kaepernick's father begged a Cal assistant coach for a tryout in 2006. After a few passes, the asst coach calls Tedford and says, "this guy doesn't have a gun, he doesn't have a cannon, he's got a HOWITZER!

Tedford: "I'm set at quarterback". (I'm assuming he was referring to Booya and Longshank)

The Kaepernicks sent out a 100 videos to D1 coaches and got zero responses.

Alicia says she'll see you at kickoff

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