Tuesday, December 18, 2012

End of the World

Getting some stretching in atop the Pyramid of the Sun
While taking in the view of the Pyramid of the Moon
Where some of the Mayans used to kick it
and the Aztecs later named this the Birthplace of the Gods

With the pending end of the world looming I figured I might as well take a few minutes for one last blog post.

Considering the fact that I can usually pontificate endlessly on impertinent matters, I have surprisingly little to say about our eminent deaths. I’ll just share some things I will be doing that you should be doing too:

Monday, December 17, 2012

Massacre in Connecticut

Edit: If you are going to criticize anything I've said. I ask you to please read the whole post first.

Last night I was getting ready for the Niners game when there was a moment of silence for the massacre in Newtown.  I took this as my cue to hit the restroom right before kickoff. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for moments of silence so this part isn't really my complaint.

Quick Digression: I hate during moments of silence when someone decides to cough about 5 seconds into it. I want yell at them, “what the hell is your problem, you couldn't not make any noise for 10 seconds?”, except I know people would then get pissed at me.

Obama tearing up after Friday's murders
But I digress back. What I really want to talk about is how I was pumped to watch the biggest game of year and after 3 minutes of football NBC cut away to the President’s Second speech. Not only did I miss a good 15 minutes of the game but I was forced to sit in a silent bar and listen to a socialist wax poetically about tragedy and the communal good. All I wanted to do was stand up and shout, “change it back to the freaking game”. Is that wrong?

Monday, November 19, 2012

What I'm not looking forward to during Thanksgiving

3 Things about Thanksgiving that piss me off:

1. Travel Updates

You can expect to catch a few dozen segments this week about crowded airports. I’m guessing, and this is just a guess, that every one of these segments will have the following:

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Republicans and Women

I was looking over the statistics on voting based on demographics and was kind of shocked to see the gender disparity.

Take a look at these numbers:

Romney got more of the Male vote by 8%.
Obama got more of the Female vote by 12%.

For those of you who aren't good at math that is a 20 point difference. Which is the largest in history. Meanwhile all the talk has been about minorities.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Why Obama was the best choice, Again

Edit: In trying to keep this short I left a lot unsaid and I hope you use your intelligence to interpret things that are not clearly stated and you do not turn this into a political argument.

I said this 4 years ago and I’ll say it again, although it meant more last time. Regardless of your political affiliation, Barack Obama will have a greater lasting positive impact on America than any other President in the last 50 years. It may seem kind of silly to say there's a bigger picture when referencing the presidency, but there is, and I'll tell you why. First look at these 4 statistics:

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Movies that were. Actors that weren't

I spend a lot of my life thinking about what could have been. Like what my life could have been had I not invested heavily in Enron or had I not bet massive sums on the longevity of the Humpdashian marriage.

It got me thinking about others who spend their lives in regret and for some reason I thought of actors. After playing around on google for little bit I came up with a list.

Top ten decisions in Hollywood that did, or did not, dramatically change our lives:

Honorable Mention:
Julia Roberts in Basic Instict

Monday, October 22, 2012

Presidential Debates

With the last debate coming tonight, at the same time as the Giants Cardinals game 7, I figured I might as well throw in my 5 cents about everything so far:
1. Post-debate coverage is stupid. I don’t know when the world started caring about body language experts and how *undecided voters felt during the debate.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

London Olympics 2012.. 8 more awards for the best, worst, hottest.....

Welcome to my first quadrennial Summer Olympic Games awards. Here are the 8: Hottest Athlete, Most Pathetic Sport, Best Rule, Scariest Event, Luckiest Team, Best Name, Worst Coaching Decision, and Biggest Mistake. 
Quick Digression:

As I am writing this blog I'm sitting here watching the crappy closing ceremonies and wondering how many athletes skipped to go get laid a few more times before the nights over. For those of you that didn't know, the Olympic Village is a sex fest. Durex provided 150,000 condoms for the two weeks of the games. This got me thinking.... 

Thursday, July 26, 2012

5 things wrong with Europe

Devouring monuments as I work
my way through the old country
I recently returned from a 6 week sabbatical in Europe. There are many great things about the old country. In fact, there is much more to see and do than in the states. However, it is not without its flaws. Here are 5 things seriously wrong with Europe.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Talladega Superspeedway: 6 Things

Me picking up the ladies on raceday
I was down in Talladega Alabama last weekend for my protégés bachelor party at the Super Speedway. If you watched Talladega Nights you probably laughed at how white trashy the characters where . After spending a few days there I have come to the conclusion that this is no laughing matter. The movie is not an aberration.

Here’s 6 things I took away from this experience:

Monday, March 19, 2012

Overrated: Derrick Rose

In my last Overrated blog I went after Hall of Famer Tom Brady http://bayaniflores.blogspot.com/2011/11/overrated-tom-brady-and-giselle.html.

Derrick Rose is a much smaller fish but when you win MVP you have been put on a short list of the greatest players of all-time. When you don't deserve to be on that list, you are by definition Overrated.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

2012 Oscars

When you're watching the Oscars tonight just remember that 94 percent of the voters are white and have a median age of 62. This might seem ridiculous at first but if you really think about it it makes sense.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Why Valentines Day is like Getting Audited

I've decided against sharing my personal feelings about Valentines Day for fear it could get me in trouble. Instead I'll talk a little about expectations. Should Valentines Day find it's way into this diatribe so be it.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Wearing a Wire

Best action flick I've seen in a while

I watched Mission Impossible last week and it reminded me of something that has been bothering me for years. Normally I have the answers to everything but unfortunately the majority of my knowledge, as it pertains to the police, comes from movies and television. I am reaching out to anyone who has firsthand knowledge in this area and can answer this question for me.

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