Thursday, October 25, 2012

Movies that were. Actors that weren't

I spend a lot of my life thinking about what could have been. Like what my life could have been had I not invested heavily in Enron or had I not bet massive sums on the longevity of the Humpdashian marriage.

It got me thinking about others who spend their lives in regret and for some reason I thought of actors. After playing around on google for little bit I came up with a list.

Top ten decisions in Hollywood that did, or did not, dramatically change our lives:

Honorable Mention:
Julia Roberts in Basic Instict

Sharon nailed this part and I have no regrets. However it might have been pretty cool
to see Julia play this role.

10. Ralph Macchio: Back to the Future

Daniel Son turned down the lead role in one of the best movies of all-time. He could have retired with smug satisfaction having the Back to the Future and Karate Kid trilogies under his belt. Instead he just retired.... I think.

9. Tom Selleck: Indiana Jones

Speaking of great trilogy's, Harrison has the stranglehold on two of the best trilogies of all-time. The Indiana Jones movies were great. But, just like many other people, I would always think to myself, "If only he had a mustache". Too bad Magnum P.I. wasn't able to accept this role.

8. Pamela Anderson: X-Files

There was a 5 year span when X-Files was one of the hottest shows on TV and Pamela Anderson was one of the hottest chicks in Hollywood. Luckily for everyone involved with the X-files production she turned the role down. Because after the sex tape she went down fast, no pun intended.

7. Will Smith: The Matrix

Will Smith is a versatile actor. He can play the cool, dashing, sarcastic, moral and down to earth leading man perfectly.
Keanu Reeves is also a versatile actor. He can play the guy that doesn't really understand everything that's going on perfectly.
Actually, after writing that, I just came to a realization. Each one of these guys can only play one role.
So I guess it's a good thing that the Fresh Prince turned down NEO to do Wild Wild West. It would have been tiring hearing him make snarky comments throughout all the action scenes.

6. John Travolta: Forrest Gump

Too bad John Travolta  was too busy soliciting male masseuses to accept this role. Wouldn't it have been cool to here Vinnie Barbarino say, "Yo, life is like a box of chocolates"

5. Sylvester Stallone: Bevery Hills Cop

Rocky as Axle Foley? I have a feeling that this movie might have been a little different if Stallone had accepted this role. Word on the street is that he changed it and wrote a better script. That script was called Cobra.

4. Brittney Spears: The Notebook

Ok. I'm sorry Brittney. This picture
is a little unfair.

I still blame this movie for leaving three questions in my head that are still lingering to this day.
Why did that hot chick fall head over heals for a boring white dude with no personality?
He had absolutely nothing to say the entire movie and now you want me to believe he wrote a letter every day? I want to see those letters.
Why was this movie popular?

It's too bad Brittney wasn't in this film. It probably would have bombed and millions of men would have one night of their lives back. To make things worse, the girl we were forced to watch this movie with probably isn't around anymore.

3. Russell Crowe: Morpheus

Maximus Decimus Meridius as Morpheus just feels so wrong. And it's not just because he's white. It's hard to imagine anyone else as the iconic Morpheus.

2. Molly Ringwald: Pretty Woman

I think we're all the same page here.

As for number one. You're going to love it. This one is almost too good to be true. 

1. O.J. Simpson: Terminator

Yes this is a true story.

The role of the Terminator was originally going to be portrayed by O. J. Simpson. But, according to (James) Cameron in 1984, "people wouldn't have believed a nice guy like O. J. playing the part of a ruthless killer."

I will be making a list of the top ironies of all-time. Expect this to be on it.

When I came across this quote I almost exploded. This was like the best thing ever.

Johnny Depp Ferris: Bueller's Day Off

While I'm pretty sure Johnny Depp would have pulled it off it's hard to picture someone else in this role. 

Accept my apologies Brittney. Here's some better shots.

Hope you all enjoyed. I'm back from sabbatical in Africa so feel free to send me requests. Have a splendid day!

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