Friday, December 2, 2011

Things I never get thanked for Part 1: The Last Piece

This is my first entry into my new series: Things I Never Get Thanked For
This is a situation I'm sure you come across often. It's when you're sharing appetizers in a restaurant and you get down to the last piece. Whether it's a chicken wing,  nacho, bruschetta, or that coveted last corndog; most people will be sitting there wanting that piece but not exactly sure how to go about it. (although most people don't fight over the last piece of bruschetta, they just think to themselves that they shouldn't have to split the bill with someone stupid enough to order bread with tomatoes on it)

Yes this costs $12
In this situation most people are thinking "I want that last piece but I don't want people to think I'm rude. What should I do? I can ask someone if they want to half it but you can't really split a chicken wing. I can ask for it and everyone will be too polite to say no, for fear that they will be considered rude, but they will be secretly pissed they didn't get it and think I'm rude." Many times I have been in this situation and I know it can cause a very tense couple of minutes and completely disrupt the rhythm of the party.

Before I give you my solution on how to save the party from this discomfort and keep the vibe flowing I must warn you that it is an extremely thankless endeavor. But if you are as selfless as I am and are willing to step up and take one for then here's what you can do; the moment you see that last piece, reach out snag it and scarf it down without hesitation.

Me grabbing the last piece of Lamb

I know what you're thinking to yourself "that's a great idea Bayani, why don't you ever get thanked for it?". The answer is I don't know. My guess is that it's because most people are so overwhelmed by their selfishness they fail to see the benevolence in my actions. Either way just be prepared that if you do pull off this move you will not get the gratitude you deserve.

I hope that if you are ever out to dinner with me and see me jump on the grenade for the team you will give me a well deserved pat on the back or a polite hand shake. If you have any questions on any other difficult situations don't be afraid to ask

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