Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Turkey of the Year: Pro-life Republicans

I'm going to do something unprecedented this year. Instead of giving the Turkey of the Year award to just one person, I will be handing it out to tens of millions. Enjoy!

This is for Pro-Choice Republicans. This has nothing to do with Pro-Lifers (so don't send me your hate mail just yet). That will be a discussion for another day.

This is going to offend a lot people but sometimes the truth hurts.....

If you consider yourself Pro-Choice, I assume you still vote Republican because you have some belief that you will save a few dollars on taxes, you lack belief in science, your parents were Republicans or a combination of all these. But whatever reason you vote Republican, those issues are more important to you than a woman’s right to choose what to do with her body.

First, I want to explain what you are voting for when you vote Republican and against women’s rights because a lot of people don't understand what pro-life policy actually means.
Republican Policy 101:

     1. Abortion is murder
     2. Murder is against the law
     3. Murderers will be thrown in a cage and/or executed

     4. If a woman makes a decision about her own body and decides to have an abortion, she is, under          Republican law, a murderer
     5. Therefore, if a woman chooses to get an abortion, she will be thrown in a cage and/or executed
     6. If a woman is pregnant and miscarries, it is unknown if she got an illegal abortion or had a                      miscarriage. There will have to be a police investigation every time a woman miscarries

According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, 19.3% of women are raped. If the people you voted for got elected here's a plausible situation:
Your wife, daughter, sister, or mother were raped and impregnated. They didn’t want to keep the child so they are faced with a choice; keep the child of their attacker or go to prison and possibly be executed (thanks to you). 

If this happened to someone you care about, would you want your vote back? Was it worth it to save a few dollars on taxes? 

If you answered No, I feel sorry for any women in your life.

If you answered Yes, you are a selfish jerk that only cares about your friends and family. You do not care about the 100 million women whose bodies you are putting under the control of the federal government. You must love big government.

When it comes time to reflect this Thanksgiving, make sure you let the women in your life know how thankful you are for them. But don’t let them know that you are actually more thankful for lower taxes, denying science, making it harder for minorities to vote, yada yada yada… that will be our secret:)


Last year's Turkey of the Year:

Previous Pertinent Blog About Abortion:

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