Thursday, December 5, 2013

Weekly Rant 2: Welcome Home

I just got back to Canada from travelling Europe for 2 months. I had a good time visiting the old country and visiting friends. It always amazes me how much more scenic it is than in the States. There are so many beautiful old buildings, churches and historical sites. It makes States seem lame by comparison.

Sipping on some Fireball Whiskey

I've Literally been to a thousand In-N-Outs. There are only a few restaurant layouts and I find comfort in the familiarity.  However, I encountered a rogue In-N-Out that had the men’s restroom on the right side instead of the left. I accidentally walked into the women’s bathroom just like I’m sure many other men did. I can only imagine that the manager did it just for laughs.

Even though the Fast and Furious franchise was a series of awful movies I was saddened by the death of Paul Walker. He seemed too young and good looking to die. But the franchise is way bigger than one man and can continue to put out bad movies without him. I’m picturing Channing Tatum as a replacement. He can play Paul Walkers cousin who leaves the CIA to join the racing underworld and infiltrate the gang responsible for his cousin’s death.

While we’re on the topic, I saw two good movies last month. I usually try to add a little extra irony to my movie watching, so I saw Hunger Games 2 on Thanksgiving and Gravity all alone at a theater in a foreign land.

My Gravity Review:

At the moment I type this I am watching my woman make hard boiled eggs with a “special” hard boiling egg machine she bought. Apparently it boils the eggs perfectly. It’s news to me that someone can screw up hard boiled eggs. Whoever invented this is either an idiot or a genius.

And that's my week in a nutshell. Now here's the things that pissed me off:


The only purpose of this words existence is to specify that something is EXACTLY as described. There is no exaggeration, sugar coating, understating, etc. Yet, 90% of the time I hear this word it is someone trying to exaggerate a point by misusing words.
“I have literally been up all night”
“He would literally kill me”
“I would literally explode if I have another bite”
Shut up and stop being so dramatic people!

Baggage Claim

Baggage claim works pretty well and is fairly efficient if it weren't for the idiots of the world. Everything would be fine if people could just stand about 4 feet from the carousel while waiting. Once one sees their bag then can step forward to grab it. But, for everyone who’s ever been to an airport knows, this is not the case. Everyone stands up against the carousel and you can’t see your bag unless you push your way into the crowd. What should be a simple process now becomes an uncomfortable shoving match. 

Women talk shows

There can never be a guy version of the View. You would never see a guys show where they just sit around and talk without being substantive, interesting or funny. Guys are held to a much higher standard than women. If they’re on TV they must be entertaining. If there were a guy version of the view it would be cancelled the first week. For some reason women can get away with this.


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