End of the World

Getting some stretching in atop the Pyramid of the Sun
While taking in the view of the Pyramid of the Moon
Where some of the Mayans used to kick it
and the Aztecs later named this the Birthplace of the Gods

With the pending end of the world looming I figured I might as well take a few minutes for one last blog post.


Considering the fact that I can usually pontificate endlessly on impertinent matters, I have surprisingly little to say about our eminent deaths. I’ll just share some things I will be doing that you should be doing too:

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Massacre in Connecticut

Edit: If you are going to criticize anything I've said. I ask you to please read the whole post first.

Last night I was getting ready for the Niners game when there was a moment of silence for the massacre in Newtown.  I took this as my cue to hit the restroom right before kickoff. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for moments of silence so this part isn't really my complaint.

Quick Digression: I hate during moments of silence when someone decides to cough about 5 seconds into it. I want yell at them, “what the hell is your problem, you couldn't not make any noise for 10 seconds?”, except I know people would then get pissed at me.

Obama tearing up after Friday's murders

But I digress back. What I really want to talk about is how I was pumped to watch the biggest game of year and after 3 minutes of football NBC cut away to the President’s Second speech. Not only did I miss a good 15 minutes of the game but I was forced to sit in a silent bar and listen to a socialist wax poetically about tragedy and the communal good. All I wanted to do was stand up and shout, “change it back to the freaking game”. Is that wrong?

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Movies that were. Actors that weren't

I spend a lot of my life thinking about what could have been. Like what my life could have been had I not invested heavily in Enron or had I not bet massive sums on the longevity of the Humpdashian marriage.

It got me thinking about others who spend their lives in regret and for some reason I thought of actors. After playing around on google for little bit I came up with a list.


Top ten decisions in Hollywood that did, or did not, dramatically change our lives:

Honorable Mention:

Julia Roberts in Basic Instict

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5 things wrong with Europe

Devouring monuments as I work
my way through the old country

I recently returned from a 6 week sabbatical in Europe. There are many great things about the old country. In fact, there is much more to see and do than in the states. However, it is not without its flaws. Here are 5 things seriously wrong with Europe.

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Things I never get thanked for Part 1: The Last Piece

This is my first entry into my new series: Things I Never Get Thanked For

This is a situation I'm sure you come across often. It's when you're sharing appetizers in a restaurant and you get down to the last piece. Whether it's a chicken wing,  nacho, bruschetta, or that coveted last corndog; most people will be sitting there wanting that piece but not exactly sure how to go about it. (although most people don't fight over the last piece of bruschetta, they just think to themselves that they shouldn't have to split the bill with someone stupid enough to order bread with tomatoes on it)

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Occupy Movement

Taking my pet Bull for a walk on my trip to NYC last month
to get the Occupy Movement started

The Occupy movement has given people a medium to go out and blame the "Man" for anything and everything. This is obviously a good thing. When your life goes into the crapper it feels better when you have someone to blame. The problem is that after several months of protesting and finger pointing people usually stop caring and the Occupy movement likely will just become Occupy. I know this because it has been going on in Berkeley for almost 4 decades in a place called People's Park. Even though it is kind of cool to have a designated area in the heart of the city for the homeless; you are likely to contract an STD during your daily stroll through the park. If you're lucky you will just be harassed for not being a hippie by a former protester/hippie turned destitute/demented person. Either way I'm not sure every major city in America is ready for their own Peoples Park.

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Halloween and Pirates!

With Halloween just around the corner I want to talk about my favorite costume when I was a wee lad. It seemed cool because I got to carry a sword, wear raggedy clothes, and only had to use one eye. However, kids should not be allowed to dress like Pirates.

My parents were not responsible for dressing me like a pirate. It was my choice. I was well aware of the ramifications. However I do not take responsibility for Skeletor, Batman, the Lion, nor the Pumpkin.

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Gay Marriage Solution

I apologize for not blogging in a while but I was busy with my 14 fantasy football drafts. It won't happen again.

Okay back to business....
Gay people have a problem. I know they have a problem because every time I turn on the TV I see this kind of stuff below...... Gay people arguing for rights, Gays going to hell, blah blah blah

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Vacuum Conspiracy

You ever wonder why your vacuum doesn't work? Well do to plenty of investigative research I have found the answer. Even though I am putting myself and my family in grave danger uncovering this conspiracy I feel it my duty to speak out against injustice. Should anything happen to me I hope that someone will follow up my work.

Old School Hand Pump Vacuum

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