Having trouble getting a great night sleep?
Wish you could have washboard abs?
Want a delicious meal without all the calories?
Have you lost that spark in the bedroom?
Looking to shave a few strokes off your handicap?
Would you like thicker fuller hair?
Wish there was a magic pill to solve all your problems?
Wish no more. Simply joining my blog will make all your troubles go away. You are probably subscribed to plenty of garbage sights that you never/rarely use. Travel, food, clothes, electronic deals are probably flooding your email box as we speak. Most of these cause you to waste your money, time and make you feel worse once the initial purchase high has passed. I cannot promise you any deals like free shipping or 10% off a bunch of crap you don't need. What I offer isn't tangible and does not carry a price tag. I offer perspective and peace of mind which is priceless and never comes with buyer's remorse. I weed through all the BS in the world and tell you what you need to know (pretty much the exact opposite of Fox news). This is not one of those trite mundane blogs where I share the lame and boring details of everyday life. You will laugh, you will cry, but most importantly you feel. I will improve your life by sharing with you my sagacious omniscient knowledge of the world.
I appreciate any comments. Ask me any questions about relationships, sports, health anything. I take requests on anything you would like to hear me rant about. I will do a dear Bayani column. I probably won't tell you what you want to hear but I will tell you what you need to hear. It's like Morpheus said "there's a difference between knowing the path and walking it." God has given me a gift and I intend to share it with the world. Please help me with the Lords work by sharing this with your friends via email, facebook, twitter, or carrier pigeon. My goal is to get 2.3 billion viewers.
Other than that sit back, relax, enjoy those rock hard abs, and watch your handicap drop down to single digits.
Join Me on Facebook and Twitter
If you want to join my blog or post comments you will need to be logged into your google account. If you have gmail I believe you should already have one. If you don't you should probably get one anyway since you'll need it for your google plus account.
ReplyDeleteDear Bayani,
ReplyDeleteI am planning a trip to europe and was hoping you could name a few places that I should be sure to avoid.
Thanks,
Trentin
Dear Bayani,
ReplyDeleteMy lower extremities are sufferring from massive pressure from unknown reasons. I eat healthy and exercise almost daily. I have a gf who I am regularly intimate with so I can't imagine having "blue balls". What would you recommend I do since I'm too embarrassed to see my female doctor.
Dear Trentin,
ReplyDeleteI will put your European trip into the queue. However it will be difficult for me to be blog about that without pissing off too many of my international followers.
Dear Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteFirst off get a male doctor. Secondly get a lighter girlfriend. If this isn't possible then stop being lazy and get on top or do more doggy. Once you have done this pray to God for forgiveness.
Bayani
Thanks Bay a ni. I have a more important question...
ReplyDeleteIm going to a local wine bar to celebrate the birth of a friend tonight and was wondering if it is acceptable to order beer at a wine bar. Will this hurt my chances with the ladies?
Dear Trentin,
ReplyDeleteUnder normal circumstances the answer would be yes. However since you are bringing a newborn baby to the bar I don't think it will matter.
Bayani