Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Talladega Superspeedway: 6 Things

Me picking up the ladies on raceday
I was down in Talladega Alabama last weekend for my protégés bachelor party at the Super Speedway. If you watched Talladega Nights you probably laughed at how white trashy the characters where . After spending a few days there I have come to the conclusion that this is no laughing matter. The movie is not an aberration.

Here’s 6 things I took away from this experience:

1. "Democrats Suck" t-shirt earns you points with the ladies

2. Throwing plastic bottles and alluminum cans into the campfire is considered an acceptable form of recycling.

3. There were RV’s as far as the eye could see. I’m pretty sure we were one of the few that rented ours. This reminds me of an old friend of mine, Monkey Miguel Hands Molina, who once asked if it would be cool to own an RV. My answer was, “as long as you own other things too”. Sadly, I do not think this was the case for most of them.

One of the local rednecks taking in the
National Anthem atop an RV
while honoring the confederate flag

4. It's worth it to pay the money to have someone pump the sewage out of the RV than to do it yourself. Believe it or not but things can go wrong.

5. Don't go to Talladega expecting a delicious Churro on Cinco De Mayo or you will be severely dissapointed. And don't be alarmed if they refer to them as "wetback donuts".

6. I would have never guessed that the closest we came to getting into a fight was because our token homosexual (most likely the only "openly" gay person there) was dancing with a chick. 

Here's a blast from the past. It's the game we all remember playing as kids called Pick the Hick. For those of you that are out of the loop the game is simple. Pick three of the four locals. Good luck and have a great day!

So obvious. Is this a trick?


He's got the fanny pack
and the rolls
A sombrero. Could this be a hint?

Answers in next weeks edition.

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